What we talk about when we're avoiding talking about that time we got drunk on wine and had sex on your parent's bed.

"I never really understood the difference between a river and a stream. I mean do they have some definite standard of flow and width and depth that makes the difference, or do people just take a look and go like 'oh hey yeah that is definately a river?'"

"I'm not really sure to be honest, this isn't something I've actually thought about before. We should look it up on wikipedia though for peace of mind".

-A stream is a body of water less than 60 feet wide with a current, confined within a bed and stream banks.

"What about like braided rivers though? They're just like streams that criss-cross and blend together and stuff? I think I need more clarity on this.

- Sometimes a river is said to be larger than a creek,^[1] but this is not always the case, due to vagueness in the language.^[2]

"It is a tough question. I think on the face of it though I'd rather hang out next to a stream though, it seems like it'd be more peaceful. Like maybe streams have been romanticised by popular literature or something, but serious, they seem like a better place to hang out. Rivers seem violent for some reason but I don't really know why."

"Rivers are filled with dead hookers."

"That's another thing about them. Pretty much fuck rivers."

"Do you remember that time..."

"Which time?"

"Oh sorry, I mean that time we hung out by the river eating those ice-creams and for some reason there was all those piles of hair all over the grass in front of the bench?"

"That was way weird. Sometimes I still think about that and wonder what was going on. Like I would probably pay money to gain some context on that situation. I think maybe it was an installation art piece."

"And then the homeless guy that came along and started throwing hair round and stuffing it in his pockets? Do you think he was a part of the art installation? There wasn't really anyone else around. Maybe like life is art though and in that case the homeless guy is kind of on par with Duchamp or something, because I couldn't stop thinking about that for weeks I guess."

"I thought you were gonna ask if I remembered something else..."

"What'd you think I was gonna ask though?"

"Oh nah, don't worry, nothin'! Lets talk about deserts instead of streams, though"