Sunday, December 7, 2008

I'm In a Coffin - One Final Action (review)

My mind,
It is pool of blackness…

Depressive Black Metal is a fucked up genre, no one will deny that. But what I'm in a Coffin have created with One Final Action is beyond fucked up.

In a study of the Black Metal genre, you come across corpse paint, forests, and retarded leather costumes with metal studs on them. I'm in a Coffin have surpassed this, and One Final Action places no stock in "looking the part", instead relying completely on the music, and the creation of atmosphere. And in terms of emotion generated, there are few albums that can have such a harrowing effect. The thundering bass, distant yet longing yells, simple yet melodic guitar, and the stripped-down drums combine, leaving a bitter taste and the inevitable feeling that somehow the world has used you. What excels this even more is that unlike most Black Metal, you can understand the lyrics in One Final Action, and they are truly grim.

We are both waiting...
I am a weapon against myself...

One Final Action follows a simple narrative, which tells of happiness for a moment, followed by a return to shit -beginning with thoughts of how they are dangerous to themselves, and ending with the final act of suicide. In the time between they confront themselves, alone. Emotions combine to a giant fuck you to humanity, which is the only was to accurately describe One Final Action. This is a classic of the genre.

This is my coffin,
And it's time to shut the lid...

-a

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Counterfeitz



For some reason I've been thinking about counterfeit goods lately. In the art world, it seems pretty much universally accepted that forgeries are inferior to original works of art. While debate continues as to whether the fact of a forgery causes a work of art to be actually aesthetically inferior, or inferior on a range of other grounds including the importance of originality, art history and economics, this would seem beside the point – in any event, a number of well reasoned arguments are given for the fact that counterfeit or forged artworks are inferior. Forgery is also a problem in the fashion world – almost everyone has seen counterfeit Louis Vuitton bags sold in back alleys the world over. This forgery is decried universally by the fashion industry. However, the arguments to this effect seem weak. Cynthia Nellis provides some reasons why counterfeit 'high-fashion' items should not be supported:

1.Counterfeiting robs the U.S. alone of more than $200 billion a year. It's a cash, tax-free business; legitimate citizens like yourself will still get stuck paying taxes, while counterfeiters line their pockets at your expense.

2. Terrorists, gangs and organized crime syndicates all profit from selling counterfeit merchandise. Sometimes designer handbag knockoffs are lined with drugs and used for smuggling things like heroin, too. There is also evidence that the bombing of the World Trade Center in '93 was funded by the sale of counterfeit apparel.

3. You might realize that things like knockoff toys or electronics are an unsafe idea, but did you know that even items such as fake sunglasses can hurt you. According to IACC counterfeit sunglasses can shatter easily; they may fail to provide UV protection as advertised.

In summary: We should support counterfeit goods because they're tax free, support terrorism and will hurt you. This sounds like scare-mongering – terrorists and cut eyes! Bin Laden's money comes from construction, and anyone believing that the UV protection quality of a $5 pair of sunglasses would always be equal to that of a $500 pair would seem to deserve retinal damage, if only to advance natural selection. As for the tax thing – this would seem to rely on the idea that there is something morally wrong or reprehensible about tax evasion, which is a far wider issue than the one in question here.

Nellis goes on to say that “now, fakes are so good that you simply can't tell the difference”. If so, why should it matter who makes them, if the end product is essentially the same? The only difference in this transaction would seem to be that money is going to Chinese enterprises, rather than Western shareholders.

This is not to say that there is nothing wrong with counterfeitting, but rather that some arguments advanced for this idea seem rather weak. A better explanation for the problem with counterfeit fashion would include reference to the originality of a design, and this forming the basis of value in expensive fashion items. Also, it cannot be ignored that much of the appeal of such items comes from the fact that their price elevates them to the standard of “luxury goods”, inaccessible to a majority of people. You could even say this is the basis of these brand's appeal – status symbols. With counterfeits, this value is eroded. Such arguments probably do already exist in a fully reasoned form, but if so I can't find the articles. Sorry, Google, for I have failed you.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Tapes - even more obscure points than flexi 7"s?

When the tape slows down, that means the battery's run out. But, I listened to these tapes on a deck which thankfully has the wonderful addition of an AC power cord, and so the danger of slowdown was avoided. Thank fuck for that – fast music slowed down generally sounds like funeral doom made by spastic three year olds. Unlike slow music sped up, which either sounds like a) Alvin and the fuckin' Chipmunks or b) 9 Shocks Terror (all their riffs are stolen from Boulder records played at 78rpm) but fuck whatever, this is a pointless fucking divergence that I never should have started down. Anyway, I got a couple of tapes lately and decided to review them. They're probably old as hell too, but fuck it:

Shortlived: Turns out this tape is actually just the CD-r demo (but, obviously, on tape). Still, it fucking slays – 8 tracks of ripping Fastcore ala What Happens Next or R.A.M.B.O before they added all the melodic shit.

Walrora: KhrvstP0nx from Australia, am digging these guys at the moment. Tape is pretty short (only four tracks) but somehow manages to pack in a bunch of influences – from the stoner-rockish (I swear that's a legitimate fucken term) first riff in Toothwalkers to blast beats, d-beats and a few generic crust riffs. Female vocals work well – am reminded of Detestation or the heavier Garmonbozia parts in this regard. The artwork is rad as hell too – only now do I realise how bad ass walruses are.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Of the Standard of Taste in People

I don't know if this is a common or universal thing, but I often hear people all like "man that person is shit at life" etc. It has got me thinking... how possible would it be to create an objective standard of being "GOOD AT LIFE". You'd need some sort of judge, at least, to set some criteria. Now, I'm in no position to take on such a demanding metaphysical position - I have no idea what the criteria would be. All I know is that this guy:



Wouldn't be the judge. Because he fails hard at life. Any judgment would be subject to endless discussion as to whether it's worse to a) have be in koRn, b) be Christian, or c) have played on THE WORST LIMP BIZKIT ALBUM. When the answer is ALL OF THE ABOVE, everything becomes invalid.

SPECIAL BONUS!!!: Holy shit. Godtube.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

An Imagined Interview with Hatebeast, Christchurch's Premier TWISTED METAL band.

HATEBEAST are a band that has captured the imagination of numerous suburbanites across Christchurch, proving that all you need to play "some totally fuckang sweet as and hella moshable" music is bad white-man dreadlocks. I caught up with them to discuss the band.

Why don't you tell everyone reading this about HATEBEAST?
Ohhhaharakkata untisss YEAHHHH

Okay... You guys have been labelled 'twisted metal'... what does this genre mean to you?
Uh rakkata-ahh yeah SICKNESS. Ohhhwahahha.

Jesus christ. Fuck this. Final words?
ICP! ICP! ICP!



Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Bang! Bang! Eche! Interview

I talked to James from Bang! Bang! Eche! real quick before they flew to America and Europe to be total rockstars / ambassadors for Christchurch, with the help of .govt money. I'm pretty sure this means they sold out, but whatever. There is a definate 'rape-theme' running through this interview, which probably makes it pretty edgy.


(
picture shamelessly boosted from somewhere else)

First: You guys have come along way from practicing in a shitty dero house back in '07 - wanna give a brief history of the band up to this point?

OK so first off we were a 6 piece joke band who formed for rockquest out of pure bordem, Members came and members left. Then we wrote some actual songs released an ep. Badda' bing' badda' boom.

How'd this tour come about - self-booked, or some hardout awesome people putting it on for you?

Mainly it was down to me having too much sparetime and wasting it on the interwebs. Added some German booking agents and told them we were coming over(this was 5months ago). We had no plans to come over but we kept in contact and things started to moved forward. Now its actually happening, its' fucking crazy.

Which part of the tour are you looking forward to the most?

New York. Being in Manhattan when the election is on will just be insane.

Given that you haven't even reached the age of consent in the USA yet, how likely do you think it is that you're gonna get stat-raeped by some electro babes?

Highly likely. Were all about the stat rape here at bang bang eche camp.

Are you goin' to miss anything about Christchurch? Are you ever gonna come back?

The botanical gardens and Lyttelton. Two biggest things I'll miss about chch. Of course were gonna come back! Chch is the new Sanfrandisco didn't ya hear?

What's happening with the video you guys filmed?

What one? We got sent a rough edit for one of the ones we did in wellington the other month its looking HAWT. More to come soon though. Will keep you posted.

Care to recommend any cool bands you're listening to at the moment?

THE MOTHERFUCKING DEATHSET. Health. High places.

FINAL WORDS?
"Aint never been cleaner then a post rape shower"

You can download a live-to-radio set recorded in New York City HERE.



Politicore

I am taking a quick break from a day of intense study to pass comment upon the upcoming US Presidential elections. This is an event which I will not be voting in, and the outcome will likely have a minimal effect upon me. However,following modern western tradition, I feel that what I have read on various blogs run by anti-social basements dwellers qualifies me to have an opinion.

All I can say at this point is that I hope for Barack Obama to win. John McCain will obviously die in office, and then Sarah Palin will be president. I mean sure, she does porno and her presidency would mean the first American retardo-prince, but still. Anything that would make this woman happy should not be allowed to come to fruition:



Seriously, look at her. There is no doubt in my mind that this woman would put on an American flag cape, beat the shit out of you with one hand and order an entire catalogue's worth of Franklin Mint eagle statuettes with the other.

"Politics is the business of keeping the party with the most supporters in badly airbrushed XXL t-shirts out of power" - Aristotle, in the lost 7th Book of Politics.