Anyways, Snow Jam, for those that don't know, is some retarded event put on down here every year by MTV (the same people responsible for OFF THE CHAIN shows like Punkd and My Super Sweet 16). This year it was at Terrace Downs, a golf resort usually kept as the exclusive domain of dairy farmers, freshly rich from recent world food price ass-rape, and Japanese businessmen. For one day however, Terrace Downs was transformed into a haven of Kathmandu-puffer-jacket wearing Commerce students, determined to legitimately post on their Bebo//Facebook//watever it is that shitheads are into these days that they'd ACTUALLY SEEN OPSHOP AND DOVONAN FROKAINROUTER.
The bands sucked, which was unsurprising considering every single fucking performer on the lineup (aside from LIL JOHN, obviously) could be included on one of those CDs that they play at supermarkets for the sole reason that even a raggin' Mormon could find absolutely nothing to be offended by. This isn't actually true – I'm 90% sure Mormons don't like rap music, but what I'm trying to say here is that everyone involved was boring as fuck. Also, there was a news report of people gettin' taken away by ambulances because they were too cold. Snow Jam, cold?!? Fuck my life.
We left after about two hours. I guess I'm stuck with having to imagine what Lil John was like...
If you want to read an actual review by a reputable journalist who most likely thinks Shihad are the greatest band in New Zealand ever, you can CLICK HERE. I wouldn't bother, unless you're after some cheap laughs from the comments section, including the bizarre statement that “Opshop are NZ royalty !!”. The only positive to come out of this business is a new-found respect for Cut Off Your Hands - “lead singer was so drunk, and openly admitted that to the crowd, saying he didn't care if he disappointed them”. At least he wasn't throwing hammers, you fucking pussy.
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